Bones after Hours
by Denizen Of Madness
Summary: Hello, Everyone! Come and see a cracktastic truth and dare show the likes of which you have never seen before in your life! Watch you favorite characters subject themselves to insane tasks!
1. Chapter 1

We begin the show on what appears to be the set of your run of the mill talk show. A typical desk with some chairs that look comfy, but in reality, they are about as comfortable as a bed of nails, were on the stage. A backdrop meant to simulate being in front of the L.A. skyline obviously laid in the background. The stands were filled with screaming fans of all ages and genders; typical for a talk show, of course.

The only thing atypical was the person standing in the middle of the stage. A man wearing a purple Willy Wonka-like suit and a plain white mask. He had brown hair that stuck out ever which way. He held out his arms in a way that made it seem like he was taking in the audiences cheering.

"Hello! I'm the Denizen of Madness. I'm running a brand new talk show where we play a game of truth and dare with the cast of Bones!"

"Anyway, I want you guys to call in the characters for each chapter. Also, I want everyone who'll review this to leave some questions and dares, if you please," He motioned to the fans.

"I won't do any dares that are overly gory or sexual, got it? And I mean anything you would find in a M-rated fic. I won't do anything like that, no sir!" He waggled his pointer finger as if his was scolding a child. "To start off with, I'm going to bring Tempe and Booth in, so if you want a character to be in it, leave a review."

"Denizen!" someone shouted off stage. The audience gasped and quieted down.

"Oh, crap," Denizen muttered under his breath.

A woman in her late teens stomped on stage. She had short blond hair, green eyes, and wore a Rainbow Dash T-shirt with plain blue jeans. The look on her face was that of pure rage.

"Everyone, this is my android Co-host, Eva, who I thought was locked in a dungeon. Eva, How did you get past the spider-whales?" The Denizen began to nervously.

"I killed them all with my bare hands," She grabbed him by the collar, and held her hand up to his face. A blade protruded from her arm, scrapping against the Denizen's mask. "I skinned them with this very dagger. I think I'll do the same thing to you. You'd make an excellent wallet. But before I do, I want to ask you something. Why did you lock me in a dungeon?"

"Because, you only started watching the show when the seventh season started up. In fact, that's the only season you've watched! I could let a newbie like you be my co-host! And I knew that if asked ypou" He shrieked.

Eva brought the blade down to Denizens' neck, and pressing against it, she drew a single drop of blood.

"Okay! Okay! Eva! I'll do anything you want! Just don't kill me!"

Eva threw him to the ground. "Anything?" She asked, stroking her chin.

"Yes! Just don't kill me! I beg you!" He began to stand up.

"Bring Finn in," She said in a wary voice.

"Que?"

"Finn Abernathy. Bring him in."

"But he's only been in one episode." Denizen wiped up the blood on his neck.

"Do you want me to turn you into a wallet?" Eva snapped.

"...No. But, please. Don't molest him."

"I can't make any promises."

Denizen sighed. "Fangirls..." He turned back to the audience. "Well, everyone, That's it for our introduction. Please stay tuned for the next chapter, where Booth and Brennan will come in."

"And Finn! Don't forget him, bitch!" Eva interjected.

"And Finn." Our poor host sighed.


	2. The show must go on

"Ah. Now this is the life," Denizen leaned back in a comfy leather chair at his desk. It was about an hour to showtime.

"Yo! Denizen!" Eva walked up on stage. "Shouldn't you go get the characters so we can debrief them on what's going on?"

"Crap! I forgot!" Denizen jumped from his seat. Raising his arms, he shouted "Avada Kedavra!" Green lightning shot out from his hands.

"Augh!" Someone shouted offstage.

"What just happened?" Denizen cocked his head.

"I think you just killed Ted the expendable intern with the Harry Potter killing spell," Eva looked at Teds' now dead body.

"Shit! Could you remind me to send a gift basket to his family later as an apology?"

"Yeah. sure." Eva said absentmindedly as she filed her nails.

"Let's try again," Denizen said, once again rasing his arms. "Alakazamwitch!" But instead of important characters poofing out of nowhere, a brick covered by a sheet of paper smacked him in the head.

"What's this?" Eva asked. She tore the paper off the brick. "Oh, lord. It's a note from the producer. It says that you can't bring in any characters unless people send us proper questions and dares."

"Dang," Denizen said, rubbing his head. "Okay, then. I know people are watching us right now, so listen up! If you want us to actually do the show, then send us questiona nd dares! I dn't care if you do it by review or otherwise, just give us what we need to work with."

"Yeah!" Evas' arm blade protruded from her arm. "And if you don't, I'll cut you! And him!" She grabbed Denizen by the arm.

"Please, just do it! Eva, please stop threatening people!"

"Make me!" She spat.

* * *

><p><strong>AN: I seriously need questions and dares, guys. Please?**


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